It’s life Jim, but not as we know it (Part 2)

01 Jul

It’s 12:30 on the morning of the 1st January 2021, New Years day. My first footers and other visitors have left, heading back home through the snow. I remember in years gone by, even ten years ago, people used to party until the dawn, go home and sleep and start all over again at 9;00 the next evening. Those were the days. Indeed those were very, very different days entirely.

The government made the electricity suppliers install Smart Meters in all buildings and they have been a great success. They provide just the right amount of electricity to be used to make sure we don’t waste any. Sometimes they reduce the power, I‘m allowed, to the point that the cooker and the heating won’t work. I was going to try to build a little wood-burning stove for heat and cooking. I changed my mind though as one of my neighbours built one and then ended up in jail for removing fallen branches from an “area of important bio-diversity” or the woods as we used to call it.

When the local Greenie councilor heard about it he started a petition for the return of the death penalty for crimes against the environment. He wanted a double death penalty handed down for my neighbor because of the wood thing but also because of the smoke it would have made when it was burning. Children could well have been killed if they had inhaled even a tiny amount of the smoke from the burning wood. Mind you they would have needed to remove their protective suit and helmet and unwind all the cotton wool which keeps them safe from all sorts of dangers like falling down, touching something dirty or being molested by strange men who lurk on every street corner. I tend to run past corners now just in case a child comes along and I appear to say or do something, which could be viewed as threatening. We are truly blessed that we have such committed public figures, including King Charles ,who has no financial interests in environmentalism – honestly, that know what’s good for us. I really don’t know how we managed before when we weren’t told what to do every five minutes or so of everyday.

A lot of my friends and family have been ill and they’ve died. Some died because they just couldn’t budget properly, according to a journalist called George Moanbore. Apparently, they didn’t have enough money for heating themselves because they had to spend some on food and the cold got them. Some died of E-coli, which they caught after eating organic food. According to a Greenie MP woman, from the south coast of England I think, the number of people getting e-coli was indeed the fault of incorrect processing of fertilisers used in organic food production. But we are not to worry because the planet is being saved due to all the organic food that’s grown and after all what’s a few thousand old peoples deaths anyway? I still think it’s sad that old people are dying like this especially since I’m an old person. But, the government says that because the number of old people as a percentage of the population is decreasing, it might mean we get a small increase in our pensions, so it’s an ill wind and all that. As long as it’s not a wind that will make me ill anyway!

Of course we may not get a small increase at all. Have you any idea how much it costs to keep all those government departments up and running? Billions apparently. It’s not like we could do without them. They help formulate policy and then instigate the enactment once it’s been through parliament according to their websites. Years ago, when pets were allowed, I had a dog. Things used to pass through him. The results were jolly unpleasant. Smelled terrible, was of no use to anyone and I had to pick it up whether I liked it or not. Of course there are no similarities between my dog and government departments. Not a single one. He had parasites too and his own agenda at times. Nope no similarities. He had to be put down, poor old soul. Now I wonder…

I shouldn’t tell you this but I used to do drugs. I went to the Docs one day! Yes I know imagine getting an appointment to see a real Doctor! The doc was great. I’d gone because I’d been having a pain in my leg. In no time at all he’d told me to get on with it, there’s nothing wrong. Then he took my blood pressure and checked my cholesterol and gave me a prescription for drugs I’d have to take for the rest of my life apparently. He was able to tick some boxes and claim money from the government for each tick, What a service and such value for money. Neither wonder the NHS is the envy of the world.

I stopped taking the drugs as they made me ill. The Doc phoned me and insisted I keep taking them because if I don’t I will be “refused treatment” if I end up in hospital with any diseases the drugs would have stopped me getting. I still get a supply of each drug every month and I just put them in the cupboards I used to keep food in. It costs me £25.00 per monthly prescription, which is a lot, but then I’d only squander it on food or electricity.

The end is nigh in part three, which will be published tomorrow.

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