The Singles Club

29 Aug

Sounds exciting already. The reality is somewhat different however. The SNP Minister for Justice, Mr Kenneth MacAskill, no less, held a bit of a soiree for representatives of international Police forces earlier today. I’m assuming they enjoyed coffee and nice hand made shortbread before they started. Then they got into gear and listened to a few Power Point presentations on the latest gadgets and goodies for subduing hoodies. The excitement must have been something to behold. They probably also considered more wee gadgets for their officers to put in those embarrassing utility belts just like Batman used to do in the 60’s only without as much lycra which is a real pity. Holy lycra Batman! Don’t take the piss Robin it’s so unbecoming…

But then it’s spotlight on the main man time. Up bounds Kenny and launches into his new message. One Police force for Scotland!!!! A Single club for the polis to be in. No need for differing approaches for the Highlands and Central Glasgow. Let’s be honest here. A hoodie is a hoodie is a hoodie no matter the accent. We’ve all seen hoodies hill walking have we not? Okay, when we do it’s normally raining and they’re trying to keep dry as they bag another Munroe and Munroe is pretty fed up with it! But a hoodie is a hoodie is a hoodie.

Now Kenny will have ranted on about how good it will be. We’ll save millions! Okay we might have to spend millions to save millions but it will be really, really good. Honest! Very Splendid. One force to rule them all, One force to find them, One force to arrest them all and in their hoodies charge them. Feel the force Ken. Only Jedis can feel the force (maybe, possibly masons too?).

It wouldn’t be so bad, this spankingly wonderful single Force idea, if we didn’t have the best possible working practice example that is the MET. That’s the MET that haemorrhages senior officers at a rate that far exceeds the attrition rate for managers in the Premier League. But big is beautiful. But Scotland isn’t big.

There are a million things that we need to be looking at to make Scotland a better place. There is no doubt that we need to look at justice and policing. We all know the days of PC Murdoch are in the past but that doesn’t mean that we need a Scottish MET. That would be tragic. We just need policing which is appropriate for Scotland.

Most seriously though, we do not need politicians bringing forward policies on the basis that they are in the forefront, are cutting edge and world leading etc. etc. If the Scottish people had wanted that they would have voted for the “Tonys” and the “call me Daves”.  We want policies, which make Scotland a better place to live and to bring our children up in and spend our lives happily being part of.

Ken. Do not mirror the politics of a Westminster approach for Scotland. It will not work. It will not be liked and the resulting fallout will ensure, you, the SNP end up on your Arses with your hoodies torn, stained and ruined forever.



Posted by on August 29, 2011 in Politics, Scottish Independence


Tags: , , , , ,

2 responses to “The Singles Club

  1. Subrosa

    August 30, 2011 at 12:56 am

    Somewhere in the past few days I’ve read that MacAskill is doing this to comply with the EU. Will try to find the link. It’s wrong and I agree with you. Policing needs to be local.

  2. Tedious Tantrums

    August 30, 2011 at 3:45 pm

    Thanks Subrosa. It certainly was a meeting of European Police Force people. I thinknthis raises another issue. If policies like these are being introduced because of the EU this should be stated up front. It would help when thingscturned out badly as we would know who to blame!!!!


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