This post was originally written for the Subrosa blog and is reproduced here with permissions.
By means of an introduction let me explain.
For some bizarre reason, which has become lost in the mists of time when I was very small in the late 50’s, my Mother sang the Eton Boat Song to me to quieten me down. Now on the face of it that would give you the impression that we were well to do, well the truth is that we were well mannered and law abiding but fairly poor. The only connection between my family and the Eton Boat Song is the song.
I’ve been known to write the odd parody and the combination of the Eton Boat Song and our very own Call me Dave, the latest Old Etonian Prime Minister, seems too much to ignore. And lo it became so.
My names David Cameron
But you can call me Dave
I’m surrounded by policemen
To make sure people behave
I’m your Prime Minister
I lead the country for you
I fight your corner
Unless it’s against the EU
Georgie boy deals with the budget
He is one of my chums
He’s had to re-plan and fudge it
Because he’s not that good with sums
Mervyn King will solve it
He’ll make money out of thin air
Taxpayers pay for it
I think that it’s only fair.
There’s been a few wee issues
Foxy has egg on his face
Theresa and Ken needed tissues
The LidDems have been a disgrace
But I am the main man
So I won’t be taking the blame
Lining my packets
I’ll just keep playing the game
The riots are past now oh goodie
They gave me a jolly big fright
I know I said please hug a hoodie
In hindsight that wasn’t too bright
The Police were a real disappointment
Passively standing around
The hoodies looted to contentment
Knowing they’d make a few pound.
The EU is almost in tatters
No one knows what they should do
It’s always been governed by nutters
None with the slightest clue
The Greeks have no money
The Irish and Italians too
It would be really funny
But who pays the bill? It’s you!
Parliaments got three years to go now
With Nick and his pals what a chore.
With luck they’ll expire in big row
No more dealing with Vince the bore.
Continuing the wind fad
Maintaining a good subsidy
Making money for Sam’s Dad
More inheritance for me.