Christmas decorations

23 Dec

In the loft, usually, lurks at least one box, which holds the Christmas decorations. The likelihood is that people have them for years and add and subtract from the “core” as fashions, décor or personal taste changes.

Question, is your tree real or artificial? Real can be pretty splendid but there is the question of dropped needles. Yes, I know things have improved and it’s less of an issue now than it used to be. I am still psychologically scarred from an experience I had a few years ago with a very large real tree.

I may have slightly under-estimated the size of the purchased tree. Si I had to cut a few inches off the bottom and another 18“ of the top bit which was spindly anyway. This allowed the tree to stand in the hall. It was duly decorated and looked pretty much okay although there was a growing odour, which wasn’t entirely pleasant emanating from the tree, which got worse as the days passed.

The day of the tree being “taken down” arrived and the decorations and lights were removed from the tree. I’d been giving the final tree removing some thought and had acquired a large sheet of polythene on which the tree would be placed gently, before being wrapped up and then dragged through the nearby outside door. And yes I was naïve enough to actual think I could achieve this.

Getting the tree down went pretty well. Huge amounts of needles fell off but were contained by the polythene. One nil to me. I wrapped the polythene around the tree as best as I could and used that vey sticky packing tape to secure it. Two nil to me. I then gripped the trunk tightly and started to drag it toward and out of the door. Three nil to me.

Of course the tree had a diameter wider than the door aperture so it was a squeeze, which meant I had to pull a bit harder. I was now in full “Dad has this under control” mode. And then… well the polythene got snagged and a tug was required. Cue major unravelling of polythene and enormous explosion of needles. Three one to me. Much hoovering. Three two to me. Much sweeping up outside. Three all. I hoped it would end there but no. Much, much, much additional hoovering over the next few days including most rooms in the house. Five three to tree. As you will know it takes months to get rid of the last of the needles.

It looked damn fine when it was dressed, possibly less so after denuding had taken place.

It’ll be an artificial tree then.

I’ve actually arrived at a simpler way to deal with Christmas decorations. Put a small amount up late and take them down early.

My parents house had those paper garland things in primary colours. They went from the room corners at ceiling level into the ceiling centre light. A ball made of paper hung from the light. Christmas cards hanging from strings on every wall. Every picture had a bit of tinsel on it. The lights, on the very bare looking artificial tree, were huge. Again primary colours. If one bulb blew the rest went off.  It was a question of trying every single bulb until you found the one that was blown, replacing it and things were good to go again. The tree also had chocolate fondant shapes hanging on some branches. The same ones were wheeled out year after year. I coveted them. They had that white sugary filling which was confirmed when they sometime broke. And of course the base of the tree was covered in cotton wool. So that covers electrocution, food poisoning and fire hazards.

The décor would also be supplemented by the stuff my sister and me made at school. Plaster of paris filled Dairy Lee triangles box lid with a candle stuck in the middle and glittery stuff sprinkled liberally all over it.

I don’t do that sort of stuff now you’ll be surprised to know.

Bah humbug.

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Posted by on December 23, 2011 in General


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