Out for consultation.

25 Jan

Well Eck has gone and done it now. He’s just whipped out his plan for the future. It’s written down in a book and it’s now out for consultation.

The MSM are all over it like a rash. Don’t worry though because they won’t do anything as rash as actually reading it. So far, every bit of TV news I’ve seen has featured people with unionist views. One lady actually went as far as saying that it would make the Queen sad if Scotland got independence. One of the BBC Scotland chaps also suggested that we wouldn’t get to use the pound and we’d end up using the Euro. He can read the future!

The inference is that Eck has caved. No he’s not gone down a very dark hole under the ground and crawled about on his hands and knees with a fetching helmet with a wee light on it. Eck is not the type to do that. He has higher goals like progressing the aims of his party to achieve independence for the people of Scotland.

Some of his opponents are not quite as keen on this idea. The merry band of men and the occasional woman in the Palace of Westminster have their own ideas. Regardless of the clear political mandate that Eck has to hold a referendum Call me Dave, Ed Moribund and the other one, you know, the one who says one thing and then does another. No that’s not right they all do that. No this is the one who has Paddy Pantsdown in his party. You know, him, the one that students love?

Anyway, Call me Dave says it’s his ball and Eck can’t play unless he does what he’s told. That’s kind of surprising. You’d think that Call me Dave would just let Eck get on with it. Call me Dave’s always saying that there is no appetite for independence from the Scottish people. So, under those circumstances Eck will be toiling. It’s not as if Call me Dave along with Ed Moribund, the Other One, ex-Scottish person Wee Dougie Alexander, ex-Scottish person Jim (The Hatchett) Murphy, Ex-chancellor and ex-Scottish person A Darling, famous Fifer, ex-Prime Minister and ex-Scotsman Gordon Brown and ex-Prime Minister and ex-Scotsman Tiny Blur to name a few, will do anything underhand to make sure it never happens. Oh no.

Eck has a few aces up his sleeve. There’s Nippy Sturgeon for start, she won’t be taking any prisoners that’s for sure. Eck also has a Marine on the team. Yes a real Marine. Okay Paddy Pantsdown may have been in the SAS but he’s not as sharp as he once was. There’s also John Swinney who, unusually for a Chancellor, can add up and understands finance! Sean Connery is on side too albeit from a distance which luckily his financial support can manage.

I’m not sure if Eck is going to send me and everyone else in Scotland a copy of the document or he’s going to deliver it personally. I’m sure he’d want to deliver it personally but he is a busy man after all.

Eck can relax, safe in the knowledge of having the full backing of the BBC to ensure his message gets across without bias and without loading any discussion panel with anti-referendum people and inserting a chairperson who is a unionist. Oh no. The BBC will ensure that the platforms are balanced and without any form of bias at all. Definitely. Totally. Completely. Oh yes.

Oh goody!


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