The limics are finished! At last! Thank goodness!
They were the biggest show on earth! Everyone has raved about them! They were great! They were so good and they made EVERYONE feel so good about being British that Call me Dave wants to make sure that the LEGACY of the limpics will be built upon.
First of all he’s guaranteed the money required to ensure a good team for the next limpics in Rio.
Second he’s given that really nice chap Mr Coe, who doesn’t fawn over slebs a job but none so far for that really nice chap Mr Beckham who doesn’t fawn over politicians and royalty.
And third he’s going to force encourage all schools to ensure that all pupils get at least 8 hours a day PE playing team sports and the like.
What a result! Gold, silver and bronze strategies just like that! Next limpics England will win everything. China? The USA? They will just be the countries, which pick up the silver and bronze. England will be forever golden. Athens? Pah I say! London is the home of the limpics.
There is of course the odd issue, which will have to be sorted out. Lets take the small blemish, which is fast becoming a large plook/acne spot for the BBC and Call me Dave to consider. What is going to happen when it’s time for this years BBC Sports Personality of the Year? In previous years the BBC removed the choice from the public who watch sport and handed it to sporting journalists who know lots of stuff about sports. The general public couldn’t really be trusted to vote for real sports people. They voted for sports and sports men and women, which they knew and liked. How silly is that! Best to leave it to people who know best. NOT!!!
This year it’s a no brainer. Bradley Wiggins (Wiggo) is the shoe in winner. He has to get it. He has achieved a victory of which we could never imagine ever happening. He won the Tour De France, the toughest and most demanding sporting event on the planet. What will the BBC do?
The problem is that they have their own shoe ins. They are of course Mo Farrah and Nicola Adams. What, you say that’s two people? Well yes. They are the BBCs choice. They fit perfectly. They achieved a lot. They won gold medals. The lady boxer won the first evah lady boxing gold medal. Mo won two very long races and beat the African athletes who usually win. He won two gold medals.
You’re still wondering how the BBC is going to sort this out aren’t you. Easy. The BBC will expand this years event so it also has a limpic sports personalities of the year too and it must have male and female recipients because that’s fair. How good is that!
Coincidently, Lame Tessas Jowells thinks the limpics aren’t fair to women. She is making a stand. Things have to change. Equality must prevail and all that stuff she talks about. She raved about it on the radio the Sunday the limpics finished.
And what about 8 hours a day team sports for our children? Well most limpic sports are individuals so Call me Dave might be being a little creative but no problem really. At this time when money is short, the economy isn’t growing, people are finding things difficult and jobs are going more quickly than they are being created it’s good to know our children are being properly trained to take their place in our society.
After all once they have all become limpic gold medal winners and are too old to continue in their chosen sport they can take up very important positions in the work place. Personal trainers, advisors, coaches, models, government sports experts, BBC commentators or pundits… the list is endless. None of it will be exportable though. Not a lot of wealth creation happening either really.
Call me Dave might have become a bit confused. I know. I know. He’s just not the sort of chap who could ever get a bit confused. However, we need people to be limpic gold medal quality in all the sorts of jobs, which create wealth and which allows us to be able to afford to have an limpics team at all never mind be able to host the limpic games.
Just a though Dave. Just thought I’d mention it Dave. Just in case you’d maybe got carried away and forgotten Dave.