Some issues are so hugely important they stop you in your tracks. For a moment you are speechless which is just as well because you have stopped breathing. This is serious. Things are going to change. Things aren’t going to be the same. Some things are going to be lost forever.
This happened to me last weekend. There I was driving a trolley around the biggest Asda in the world when we came to the cereal shelves. Now the cereal aisle used to be a very important place. There was, and there still is, a huge number of differing cereal types and flavours, however, when I was younger there were other considerations to make. Which cereal came with the nest free toy!
Many a time I would choose a cereal on the basis of the toy whilst having to swear that a) I really did like the cereal I’d chosen and b) no I had not just chosen it on the basis of the free toy. There were times, after I’d got home and the new cereal was opened, and the toy was at a retrievable position which did not require the entire bag of cereal in the box to be emptied somewhere else, when I couldn’t eat the cereal. It would taste so dreadful there would be no way that I could possibly eat it.
Much shouting and gnashing of teeth by my mother. Dire warnings of this never being allowed to happen again. What fun.
The cereal aisle isn’t as much of a draw for me now. I’m an adult you know. I do adult stuff. Who is that tittering at the back and saying Harley Davidson? Hah! That doesn’t count.
Anyway, since I am an adult I now eat adult cereal. Mrs TT has real, hairy, stick to your ribs porridge. It has pretend sugar added so Scottish Granny would have had a hissy fit if she’d seem that but it’s still a real, sensible and nourishing start to the day.
I have Granola which contains nuts, honey and raisony sort of stuff and, oh yes, exotic fruits also. I generally have Greek yogurt with honey in it too. How adult is that?
Back to the cereal aisle then.
Mrs TT imparted a fact she had recently heard or read. She told me that Frosties were in danger of being banned. For me time stopped. I must have misheard. Who and why would anyone want to ban Frosties. Are they mad? Do they not know that following the apocalypse there is only one food which would keep you from starving. Frosties. You can eat Frosties as a sweet, a supper and lunch and even for breakfast too. Okay you’d have to have milk but that long life milk would do the job.
Whilst other scavengers would be fighting over tins of spam, baked beans, soups and such like I’ll be casually taking bags of Frosties out of their boxes and putting them into black bag bin liners and then long life milk into other black bin liners.
I’ll be sorted.
So why would some people to ban Frosties? Because they make you fat or so they say. The thin Gestapo, the Gestapo aren’t all thin but they expect the non Gestapo to be thin.
Too much sugar they say. Obesity epidemic they claim.
Anyone want to join the close the BBC Gestapo Party? How about the close the money losing Guardian Gestapo Party? The list could be endless.
If only I’d kept some of the toys I’d been so desperate to get from those cereal packets in the 60’s. Some of the toys had elastic bands on them so you ping things at people, some were toy guns and some were wee cars. Nothing namby about those although in the wrong hands they could kill or maim.
So Frosties are now dangerous, dangerous enough to be banned. How absurd can this be? Banning a product is tantamount to relieving people of the right to make up their own minds and their right to stop eating when they choose.
Ban Frosties and save lives.
Ban leftie, greeny, nannying people along with the political class ands the morons that support them.
Goodness I may have gone over the top there a bit! It was their fault they made me do it officer.
Stop press. They are now pushing for additional taxes to be levied on fizzy juice. Idiots. GET A GRIP!!!!