East is East

28 Jan

Councils eh… what would you do with them… we all know what we’d do but we aren’t letting on just yet.

East Lothian Council is near Edinburgh, it’s sort of where Muirfield is for all you golfers out there, it’s east from Edinburgh just along the River Forth on the south side. Anyway. The council has decided and has actually implemented a closed roads implementation beside three of their schools in Haddington.

Sounds a bit odd unless you live beside a school and you see the antics of the parents who drive to the school to deposit and collect their children. They park on the zig zag lines, they double park and sometimes triple park, they do three point turns, they block drives, they almost drive over other peoples children and they drive too fast to name but a selection. Bad driving? See it outside a school.

No more though. East Lothian have acted.

On the news today parents were being interviewed. They said stuff like “my child was almost hit with a car” and “cycling to school would be a good thing” and “children walking to school will be a good thing”. Well I just about won the lottery at the weekend, I almost discovered where “we” come from and “I also nearly bought a house costing £1.2 million quid”.  There is no “almost” when decisions are taken. There are only the actual recorded facts and it’s obvious that it is no immediate threats to children it’s just perceived.

Anyway cars are out as far as ferrying children back and forward to school is concerned. At three schools. In East Lothian. Haddington in particular.

I’m kind of hoping that Edinburgh Council do this on too. Soon, I’ll be able to drive all around the city at 20mph, a speed normally used by those drivers who are too small to see out the windscreen or they learned to drive in a 1953 Morris or they are female, blonde in a huge Range Rover whilst holding a mobile phone to their ear as they finish putting their make-up on. How’s that for multi-tasking? Pretty damn dangerous.

I’ll also be able to drive along the street I live in at anytime without fear of the dreadful driving righteous with the gleam in their eye, which allows them to do what they want because they have “cheeeeldren”. No, keeping cars away from schools is a good thing. Obviously people will still take their kids to school they’ll just park a bit outside the exclusion zone. And so it will go on and on.

I worry about rainy days. The children will get wet. They may well start to dissolve. Kids aren’t as sturdy as they used to be. If they walk to school they’ll be exhausted by the time they get there which will interfere with their school work. They’ll also have to avoid the perverts that hang around on all street corners nowadays. There’s also the temptation for the children to nip into one of the shops that is always beside schools and partake of a small something containing… SUGAR!!!!!!!! Heaven forbid.

I jest. It’s a 15 month trial in one town. It could get messy. Fisticuffs between a granddad and the polis! It could happen. I’ll keep my mobile phone handy in case it does happen and I’ll record and publish the results for your entertainment.

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Posted by on January 28, 2014 in Children, Schools, Traffic


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