Our good friend Mr George Monbiot is now telling us how to get rid of all those pesky floods. He knows stuff you see and he has his column in the Guardian loss making newspaper, his wee blog bless him and the BBC where he is treated like a demigod, quite a small demigod but a demigod nonetheless.
If you’ll remember a wee while ago he was against nuclear power, he was against eating meat and he was also against people with large houses not taking in complete strangers to fill their otherwise empty bedrooms.
But then… suddenly nuclear power was really a good idea as far as George was concerned. Why had he not noticed this before he mused? Suddenly (again) meat eating was also a very good thing to be doing. Why hadn’t he noticed this before he again mused? He had repented on both and had been humble about it apparently.
Next of course was another turnaround but not as dramatic as the other two, and there are others of course if you care to look. This wasn’t as dramatic because the problem for George was that he had a large house and he hadn’t filled it with people who needed a roof over their heads. Oh dear.
Still, better having an opinion is better then not having an opinion even if wee Georgie Monbiots opinion was complete pants. Free speech is so important don’t you think? I am a great believer in free speech especially when it’s complete bollocks provided by wee Georgie Monbiot.
This time he has another theory. It involves sheep. Doesn’t he live in Wales or thereabouts? He may well know a lot about sheep as well as everything else. Anyway the floods will go away if sheep stop walking on the grass in the uplands and compressing it so the water doesn’t sink into the ground it just runs off.
There you go. Very simple. Done deal.
So where have all the sheep to go then? Well they’ll no doubt go the giant sheep dip in the sky. Some people are going to miss their lamb chops soon. Oh dear. What about woolly jumpers? Greenies like their woolly jumpers and knitting and such like as long as they are gaily coloured and maybe have a political message on the front. “Stop sheep walking on the hills”. Not particularly catchy but it’s never stopped them before.
He must have missed the big news about all the rain and the floods. The amount of rain hasn’t been exceptional and neither were the surge tides. So it’s not down to weather or even climate and Georgie likes a bit of climate now and again. He used to like it more but then he found it wasn’t nearly exciting as he thought it was since it wasn’t getting warmer and stuff.
Poor Georgie. He may well be campaigning soon to have the rivers dredged and having farmers who know the land look after it again. Such a pity that Georgies friends at the Environment Agency have been cuddling the countryside instead of looking after the environment which, and this will be a surprise for Georgie, includes humans.
Come on Georgie you’re late with another U-turn.
Hey!!!!! There’s the very thing for putting on the front of his home knitted jumper.
“U turn if you want to, Georgies not for turning”