RSS

Category Archives: Global Warming – Climate Change

Judith Ralston and the hankie of doom

Well… Black arm bands have been handed out, flowers are being ordered in excess of princess quantities and flags are flying at half mast. The news, as you already know, is that the BBC have sacked the MET Office. Rumour on the street was this had occurred because the MET hadn’t delivered the level of global warming that the BBC wanted! I’ve heard stranger things.

Anyway back to the black arm bands. The new weather deliverers will probably not require the services of the hand waving, button clicking, smiling regardless of the forecast weather people presenters. This is a bad thing. You may have missed the fact that weather presenters have lives. They have mortgages as well and they have to eat and drink even to excess if the forecast was miles away from their earlier forecast. Coats are hanging on shooglie pegs, unless they were raincoats last used during that barbecue summer that the Met completely misplaced.

At this point I have to apologise due to my lack of postings featuring weather presenters or actually just one weather presenter. I’ve been busy. I have found Facebook and Twitter. I’m sorry about that. I’ll make up for it right now then.

Judith Ralston. You’ll have heard of Judith. Some people, and I’m including myself here, refer to Judith as Miss Whiplash. There was a time before weans when Judith’s wardrobe was, how can I say this? Ah, yes. Severe and pre-50 shades of grey although black was the preferred colour, or it would have been if black was in fact a colour. Scottish males watching a weather forecast by Judith could not remember a single thing about the weather. Oh no, Judith put a spell on them it was glorious. But it’s time passed.

Recently we have two episodes of interest from Judith, neither of which relates to weather at all. Firstly, she appeared on a weather forecast with what looked like a wardrobe malfunction. On closer inspection it turned out to be a paper hankie which she’d stuffed up her short sleeve. It peeked shaky for a few moments and started to get bolder. I willed it to fall but Jackie Bird alerted Judith. Secondly, one evening at the end of the bulletin the camera panned out, just in time to catch Judith dancing along to the news tune. Happy in her work. Awwwwww.

No one will be able to replace Judith. It doesn’t matter if they are Dutch or from new Zealand. There is not a single weather lady in the world that could fill Judith’s shoes. They may well get the weather forecast more accurate but who needs that if it means removing Judith from our screens? We can always look out the windae for goodness sake!

Advertisements
 

Tags: , ,

The Chancers autumn statement…

I thought we were in the winter by now? It starts on the 1st December, which makes it all the odder since the winter equinox is a couple of weeks away. Whilst on the subject of timing and stuff you’ll have heard the BBC claiming that this year is likely to be one of the warmest years on record. It will be, but only because the satellite record started in 1998.

Back to topic if there is such a thing anyway…

Chancer Gideon Osborne stood up and ranted on for a while about how well the UK was doing and how we were well on the mend to normality. We were one of the fastest growing economies, employment was up and we would get tax reductions and various wee tempting things to make us smile.

Within a few hours the Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS) published a paper rubbishing the Chancers claims. Oh dear. And an election coming up fairly soon. Not helpful. Now the Chancer and the sub-prime minister really like the IFS. They really, really liked it during the run up to the Scottish Independence vote. I bet they aren’t as keen on them now?

It was also interesting to hear that the Chancer was going to set up a Sovereign Fund for Manchester and that general area, based on fracking income. Most countries in the world, who have oil or other such resources within their borders have similar arrangements. Texas, for example, gets to keep a lot of the taxes collected on oil extraction and refining.

In Scotland we get zip. Worse than that we don’t actually get to know how much taxation has been taken on the 95% of the oil which is in Scottish territorial waters. We don’t know how much taxation in general goes into the Westminster pot. Could it be because WM doesn’t want us to know? Could it be that the 95% of the oil which, lies in the Scottish waters part of the UK has been propping up governments since the Queen turned the taps on?

It looks very likely that WM will make life very difficult for Scotland and try to make sure that the SNP and the whole idea of independence won’t ever be a possibility again. Until, of course, the oil has gone

Just one mention of Liebore. Yesterday at First Ministers question time Mr Grey from Liebore stood up and, with a large smile on his face, stated that it was a good job that the Scottish people had rejected independence since they could now see how volatile oil prices could be. Yes he smiled. Another nail in the coffin of the Labour Party in Scotland.

What joy.

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

He’s at it again.

Our good friend Mr George Monbiot is now telling us how to get rid of all those pesky floods. He knows stuff you see and he has his column in the Guardian loss making newspaper, his wee blog bless him and the BBC where he is treated like a demigod, quite a small demigod but a demigod nonetheless.

If you’ll remember a wee while ago he was against nuclear power, he was against eating meat and he was also against people with large houses not taking in complete strangers to fill their otherwise empty bedrooms.

But then… suddenly nuclear power was really a good idea as far as George was concerned. Why had he not noticed this before he mused? Suddenly (again) meat eating was also a very good thing to be doing. Why hadn’t he noticed this before he again mused? He had repented on both and had been humble about it apparently.

Next of course was another turnaround but not as dramatic as the other two, and there are others of course if you care to look. This wasn’t as dramatic because the problem for George was that he had a large house and he hadn’t filled it with people who needed a roof over their heads. Oh dear.

Still, better having an opinion is better then not having an opinion even if wee Georgie Monbiots opinion was complete pants. Free speech is so important don’t you think? I am a great believer in free speech especially when it’s complete bollocks provided by wee Georgie Monbiot.

This time he has another theory. It involves sheep. Doesn’t he live in Wales or thereabouts? He may well know a lot about sheep as well as everything else. Anyway the floods will go away if sheep stop walking on the grass in the uplands and compressing it so the water doesn’t sink into the ground it just runs off.

There you go. Very simple. Done deal.

So where have all the sheep to go then? Well they’ll no doubt go the giant sheep dip in the sky. Some people are going to miss their lamb chops soon. Oh dear. What about woolly jumpers? Greenies like their woolly jumpers and knitting and such like as long as they are gaily coloured and maybe have a political message on the front. “Stop sheep walking on the hills”. Not particularly catchy but it’s never stopped them before.

He must have missed the big news about all the rain and the floods. The amount of rain hasn’t been exceptional and neither were the surge tides. So it’s not down to weather or even climate and Georgie likes a bit of climate now and again. He used to like it more but then he found it wasn’t nearly exciting as he thought it was since it wasn’t getting warmer and stuff.

Poor Georgie. He may well be campaigning soon to have the rivers dredged and having farmers who know the land look after it again. Such a pity that Georgies friends at the Environment Agency have been cuddling the countryside instead of looking after the environment which, and this will be a surprise for Georgie, includes humans.

Come on Georgie you’re  late with another U-turn.

Hey!!!!! There’s the very thing for putting on the front of his home knitted jumper.

“U turn if you want to, Georgies not for turning”

 

Tags: , , , ,

Food recycling…

There was a minor scandal here in Edinburgh a week or so ago. When I heard I was appalled. Edinburgh Council had managed to mistakenly thrown some food waste in the landfill tip rather than going through the process that food waste goes through. It cost the Council £800. It was mistake apparently.

I don’t know if you have food recycling in your neck of the woods. I’d imagine you would because all the councils are always bragging about how green they are. We were given a black sort of bucket thing and a smaller “caddy”. We have to fill the “caddy” using a green plastic bag liner, which rots away. The bag then goes into the black bucket thing and twice a month some guys turn up and empty the black bin thing into a lorry.

Now, this whole system sort of works. We don’t have much food waste apart from peelings and maybe the odd bit of bread etc. The system isn’t great. It’s pretty smelly and nasty and we also had an infestation of the black bucket thing by some creepy crawly things.

After trying it for a while we decided that we would stop doing it. Recycling has some benefits, I think, but I don’t think the way the food waste is handled is ideal. I think it actually is a health hazard and it seems like we’re going back in time, which I suppose is what the greenies want really.

When I was young we had a brock bin. All food waste went in it. It was metal and had a metal lid and a local farmer emptied it once a week. The brock bin was for the pigs, which lived in one of the local small holdings. They seemed to really like it, the pigs I mean. The waste was put into a big drum thing and it was cooked or boiled or something and it was a bit smelly but the pigs loved it.

We aren’t allowed to do that now because it’s bad for the pigs. This is according to the EU, which knows about loads of stuff and is really good at telling us what to do on many, many subjects. I can’t say I’ve noticed a huge improvement in pork or sausages. Neither have I seem any immensely happy pigs although I should point out that I haven’t been seeking any pigs out as it were.

Anyway back to the Council. They apologised to everyone although they took some stick at wasting £800. The Greens were a bit annoyed, well they are always at least a bit annoyed but they were annoyed a bit more than usual.

Now that’s a bit odd. You see the Greens were pretty happy about the trams which cost at least 1 BILLION pounds whilst the rest of us, who are paying for them were pretty ticked. £800 versus 1 BILLION.

 

Tags: , , , ,

Panic.

Panic. It’s such a nice little word. Panic attacks. Panic on the streets of London. It says a lot.

Apparently the meaning of panic is – “sudden uncontrollable fear or anxiety, often causing wildly unthinking behaviour”. Very apt really.

I think it may be a useful word, which could replace another word. It should perhaps replace “left”. I don’t mean as in “right” and “ left” being changed to “right” and ‘panic”. That would be silly. I mean “left” as in “lefties” being changed to panic is what I had in mind.

You can see why this might work, the left panic all the time: tediously so.

The global warming scam. It started in the 1970s although it was called global cooling at that point, followed by the population explosion, followed by smoking, followed by the loss of the rain forests, followed by acid rain, followed by the hole in the ozone layer, followed by recycling, followed by global warming, followed by climate change, followed by severe weather, followed by obesity epidemic, followed by salt, followed by cycling, followed by sugar and no doubt sooner rather than later breathing.

In all of these scares the reaction has been the same – “if we don’t do something about it in the next 15-20 minutes” the whole planet is doomed I tell you, doomed.

The reality is different.

  • Cooling didn’t cool;
  • The population did grow but not as it was predicted;
  • It’s looking more likely every day now that smoking doesn’t cause nearly as many cancers as was claimed and so much of the evidence used has been lies;
  • The rain forests have been growing bigger except in areas where they’ve been torn down to grow environmental biofuels;
  • Acid rain isn’t mentioned at all now;
  • The hole in the ozone layer is still huge and gets bigger and smaller as it likes;
  • The recycling cult continues a pace but has become a rip off and a local council scam;
  • Global warming was based on a few years of hot weather then it stopped;
  • Climate change was used to include various other weather events which weren’t directly connected to warmth;
  • Severe weather is currently still in vogue although even the MET is clear that it’s not that severe and it is well within known parameters.
  • Obesity isn’t an epidemic, it’s mainly based on changes within our society away from manual work to much less manual work.
  • Salt intake doesn’t matter that much, our bodies just get rid of the salt which isn’t need;
  • Cycling isn’t a panacea, if people want to do it them fine but they should stick to the rules and pay up for the privilege like everyone else;
  • Sugar is present in a lot of foods and in a number of growing cases it’s there to make the food palatable since the fat has been removed;
  • Breathing? The amount of CO2 in the atmosphere is around 400 parts per million. When a human breaths out the carbon dioxide count is 16000 parts per million. Pollution!!!! Especially if the person breathing out is doing any sort of exercise like cycling for example.

There will be more scares and phoney claims of doom and gloom all coming from the same sort of people. Someone writes a paper, which says there is a problem. Others then point out that there is indeed a problem and we’ll better do something in the next 15-20 minutes to stop it from being a world ending problem.

They tell their mates. It becomes fashionable to be doing something about it, chatting about it in a café is perfect. Then someone debunks it. Then the believers shriek about it being true. Then they move onto the next thing.

Panic, Panic, panic.

Dare I mention fracking?

Here we go again.

 

Tags: , , , ,

Who’s land is it anyway?

It’s been a rough few weeks for people all over the country. The wet and windy weather along with huge tides, has created floods which have been costly for all those unlucky enough to be caught up in them.

Extreme weather? Apparently not. Unpleasant certainly but nothing record breaking. Check for yourself. Even the MET say it’s nothing to do with the fallacy that is global warming/climate change etc.

So what is happening?

Simple. Two things really; firstly rivers are no longer being maintained and dredged and secondly houses are being built on flood plains.

The first is a simple one to fix. Farmers are well aware of the stream and rivers, which run through their land. They’ve known where the flood plain is and how it deals with river concrete banks being built which then cause issues further down stream. They also know that dredging is a key practice, which greatly reduces flooding, but of course it’s not good for the environment according to some.

Many years ago I lived in a small town and the local council were keen to promote businesses to come in and create jobs. A factory was to be built in an area just outside the town and plans were drawn up and building work carried out. A local farmer who had sold the land to the council told the council and then later the developers and builders that their plans would result in flooding.

Did they listen? Of course not. The result? Flooding and a delay to the factory opening until they got the drains sorted out properly this time.

There always seems to be an on going need for more new housing because of all the immigration over the past few years. That puts pressure on builders and developers who build on the flood plain and wall in rivers.

The bottom line on this is probably that more building should take place away from flood plains and where building does take place it should take into account the implications of river courses down stream and of course what’s already there upstream.

There is plenty of land in the UK suitable for building on. The green belt should be used more, it’s not like we are short of green belt. The trouble is that 90% of the land in the UK is owned by 10% of the population. We are living in small cramped houses, which are squeezed into the available land.

In Scotland, the government is currently carrying out a consultation to try to find a way to reduce the size of the huge estates that run to thousands and thousands of acres of land. Some of these estates are even owned by Scottish institutions so that would be a good place to start. Getting the lords and ladies to divest themselves of some of their land may well be a bit trickier but doable. It all sounds a bit Soviet but again there should be a solution which either hasn’t come up or has come up but it’s still too frightening to talk about.

Meantime the environment will adapt to water courses and the people who need the benefits which water course management will bring will continue to find their environment unpleasant until such times as a solution is implemented.

Perhaps the original builders and developers of buildings which are prone to flooding should have to pick up the cost?

 

Tags: , , , , ,

Big Brother Zealots edition

Energy… it’s what it’s all about.

The evidence points in the direction of the environmental and health zealots.

None of these people want you to have any. Energy, that is.

Environmentally, we can’t get the energy we need because it will upset small animals, spoil land, pollute, we will be greedy with it if they allow us any, it will induce climate change and anything “bad” which could well happen according to those who know better than us.

Health wise, we can’t get the energy we need because it will involve the death of animals, use of modified genetics, having too much sugar in it, having too much salt in it, having too much fat in it, it’s is processed, having too much “added” sugar in it, all of which will kill us earlier than a more “healthy lifestyle would allow according to those who know netter than us.

Going back to my grandparents and I suppose even my parents their view of food was simple. Three square meals a day and make sure you left a clean plate behind. The reason for three square miles per day was that they generally worked harder from a labour point of view. They needed the calories (energy) in the food to get them through the working day. Nowadays we count calories so a guy can have 2000-2500 calories a days and a wifey 1500-2000 a day. If you go below those limits you will probably loose weight and if you go above you gain weight. Simple.

This has become muddled because generally a lot more people are sedentary; they rarely get out of their office chair in a normal day. Not ideal then. They don’t walk too much and they don’t exercise to any great extent. I’m not, however, suggesting that should all don the lycra and get sweating. I mean you do it if you want to but don’t get all self righteous just do it and leave everyone else alone to make their own decisions.

The environmentalists are keen that we all use less energy. There’s really no reason for any of us to do that but they still want us to cut down.  The tool they use is hiking the prices. This means that some people can’t afford the energy they need and sadly some die because of it.

Years ago I used to wake up in a bedroom, which in the winter had ice formed both on the inside and the outside. The only heating in the house was either a paraffin heater or the coal fire, which took ages to start producing real heat. We didn’t complain. We didn’t know any better. You can still have coal or wood burning fires although it’s mostly down to fashion rather than anything else.

So why do so many of these zealots want to restrict so many things of which a surprising amount seem to be things wee not only need but can’t do without?

Again the answer might be for them to provide us with role models. They could be the role models. Live without all the stuff they think is bad.

Oh please do it.

Pretty please?

Or how about a special edition of Big Brother. They could call it Big Brother Zealot! We’d all call it BBZ, which isn’t far away from one of the biggest supporters of zealotry – the BBC!

Done deal.

 

Tags: , , , , ,