Tag Archives: The Eagles parody

Hotel Caledonia

This post is a parody of the Eagles Song Hotel California.The original version references warm desert evenings, exotic plants, the Mojave Desert and Los Angeles. Given that this a parody set in Scotland I have altered the setting to match. I’ve also altered the language to the Scots dialect although there may be variances from your Scots dialect. You might like to refresh your memory of the song so here’s a link so you can sing along at full pelt or within your head. Enjoy.

Hotel Caledonia

A cold January evenin’, cauld sleet comin doon,

Time I went for a quick yin, in this grim little toon.

Doon the road in the distance there’s a bright neon light.

A red T beckonin’ in the dark an’ sleet,

My hostelry fur the night.

A burd stans in the entrance,

She’d bin there a while.

She looked cauld and her hair wiz wet,

She gawped it me an’ geed me a smile.

Then she took oot her ciggies and gave yin ti me.

Her voice wiz smooth and ur accent strange,

As she said tae me…

This pubs called the Hotel Caledonia.

It’s my favourite bar,

I dinnae bring my car.

The booze is cheap in the Hotel Caledonia,

I’ve seen yi here, drinkin, strong mans beer.

I wiz totally gobsmacked, why wiz she speakin ti me?

She wiz very attractive woman but am no’ mairrit yi see.

Of course I didnae tell hur, as we went inside,

Sat doon in a corner, nae place else tae hide.

At the bar, stood the land lord,

So I ordered up two beers.

He said “That’s nae problem buddy you’ve no spent this much in years”.

A voice was shoutin’ and screamin’ inside my heid,

“get a grip ya loonie, yu’ll git caught oot,

The wife’ll `hae yi deed”.

This pubs called the Hotel Caledonia.

I’m sitting here,

Wi’ a nice cauld beer,

I’m really enjoyin’ the Hotel Caledonia

Wae a luvly gurl, ma heids in a twurl.

Shi leans in towards me,

Puts hir hand oan ma knee.

And shi saz “yur a man thit’s speshul, that much a kin see.

A need ti ask yi a favour,

Yin yull dae mi a hope.

Yi can gee me a discount

Aff stuff in yur shoap”

I had a sinkin feelin

Like a wiz fallin’ ti the flair

I thoaght shi’d really fancied me

Bit shi didnae really care

“Sorry doll get raffled.

The discount ‘s mine only to receive

At the checkout it’s full price tae you

Noo why doan’t you jist leave?”

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Posted by on November 26, 2011 in Music


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